Saturday, 27 October 2007
i dont know how to describe my feeling...somehow after seeing those actions and behaviors...my heart seems to torn apart into millions of pieces...at first i thought i was already quite prepared to see them quite close in the sense that they will just be playing with each other...but when they got so close and have those actions... my heart ache a lots...seriously...the feeling is so hard to describe..my hearts seems to just drop dead...at the beginning of the day...i was quite happy...but after all those issue...i just feel like justwalk away without telling anyone...seriously..couldnt slp at all...then i started thinkin ..maybe she wasnt the one for me to start with...but i really really like her a lot...do u knw how much pain it feels to give up after 6 mth of liking someone in the dark...actually i dont expect that i can be her bf...all i wan was protect her,talk to her in the dark...but i dunno why i felt that way when i sees those actions and behavior...my best brother went to tell me..since that the case...forget about her...by cutting all contact with her...i din wan to do that...cuz firstly i dont wan to lose a friend and i knw that wouldnt relieve my pains....argh...just feel like shutting myself from everyone..first came family problem den sch problem..and now come this kind of shit...how i wish i dont even exist...that would be so great...haiz...my mind is seriously goin to blow up soon...i may look ok on the outside...but my hearts bleeding...maybe i should just fade away...guess the happy me is gone...no more....hope she will be happy afterall...
I shall walk alone... 20:50
