Saturday 27 October 2007
i dont know how to describe my feeling...somehow after seeing those actions and behaviors...my heart seems to torn apart into millions of pieces...at first i thought i was already quite prepared to see them quite close in the sense that they will just be playing with each other...but when they got so close and have those actions... my heart ache a lots...seriously...the feeling is so hard to describe..my hearts seems to just drop dead...at the beginning of the day...i was quite happy...but after all those issue...i just feel like justwalk away without telling anyone...seriously..couldnt slp at all...then i started thinkin ..maybe she wasnt the one for me to start with...but i really really like her a lot...do u knw how much pain it feels to give up after 6 mth of liking someone in the dark...actually i dont expect that i can be her bf...all i wan was protect her,talk to her in the dark...but i dunno why i felt that way when i sees those actions and behavior...my best brother went to tell me..since that the case...forget about her...by cutting all contact with her...i din wan to do that...cuz firstly i dont wan to lose a friend and i knw that wouldnt relieve my pains....argh...just feel like shutting myself from everyone..first came family problem den sch problem..and now come this kind of shit...how i wish i dont even exist...that would be so great...haiz...my mind is seriously goin to blow up soon...i may look ok on the outside...but my hearts bleeding...maybe i should just fade away...guess the happy me is gone...no more....hope she will be happy afterall...
I shall walk alone... 20:50
Wednesday 10 October 2007
haha...someone told me it's been almost one mth since i blogged...haha...seems quite true...kkz...so i shall revive my blog once again....haha...been workin at warren country club almost everyday...1 wk only gt 1 day off....haha...quite tiring lor...but the pay still ok lar...$6 per hour...haha...and the ppl there are nice too...they taught me a lot of things about pool...the posture and all...haha...really enjoy being there....and the mahjong ppl oso...very funny uncles and aunties...always joke with me de...wahahaha...seems like a pretty gd job right?but sadly i will not be workin there soon...cuz my sch goin start already...it's like finally it's starting...haha..this holiday seems to be a very long one...almost all my sec friends already start sch le i still working...haha...seems shiok right?i tink so too...haha
Anw that day went to the lrm ig chalet...haha...was a nice chalet...with so much jokes,games and ghost stories cuz it's quite near old changi hospital...haha..almost all the jokes revolve around mellissa as usual...cuz she always so blur...thats why brandon they all keep sayin this sentence"mel,you sucks"...haha...mel has really gd temper...luckily she dont mind all this...as least it seems that she doesnt..haha...she is a gd person to tok to lar...haha....den when we reached there...we prepare food and want to start the fire for barbecuin...however..the fire did not start even after several attempt...haha...guess who saved all our hungry stomach...it was shi tat...haha...he's the hero of the day...haha..overall it was a fun chalet...i had fun with everyone...lol...thx everyone who went to the chalet...u guys rawks!
I shall walk alone... 00:30
